Okay, be honest with me: Have you ever felt excited about a fresh start but found yourself pulling back because, let’s face it, past disappointments and that nagging fear of failure hold you back? You’re so not alone. Today, we’re calling out those 5 hidden bullies that have been sabotaging your dreams and holding you back. We’ll talk about how to stand up to the relentless inner critic with courage and determination and find the joy that’s waiting just beyond those fears?
Take a listen now:
Let’s kick things off with something fun! Picture this: you’re heading to a retreat this weekend. When you arrive, you walk in and spot a beautiful, professionally printed name tag waiting just for you. It’s got your name, of course—but here’s the twist. It also has your title, like your mission in life, the person you’re striving to become. What does that title say? Seriously, take a second to imagine it. I’d love to hear what you come up with, so drop me a line in the comments wherever you’re tuning in! Go big, be bold, make it fun—I can’t wait to see who you’re dreaming of becoming.
I have dreamed of this very moment myself. This podcast, having “PODCASTER” listed as my title, has been so motivating to me, but for years it was just a pipe dream. A lot of people look at me and think I must be fearless when it comes to tackling new things, like I’m just naturally wired to go for it. But here’s the truth: I’ve got fears, plenty of them. I’ve got my own roadblocks that keep me spinning my wheels and sometimes even cost me big chunks of my life. And honestly, if I can help you dodge some of that struggle, I’m all in. I don’t want you getting stuck in old disappointments or missing out because of hesitation.
So let’s start with five inner bullies I know all too well—I’m betting you’ll find we’re way more alike than you’d think.
1. Analysis Paralysis: "Who Told You You Weren't Enough?"
Have you ever felt like you’re just… not enough? Maybe you don’t have enough time, or you think you need to learn just one more thing before you start. It’s like a tape recorder that replays over and over, paralyzing you with that nagging voice saying, ‘You don’t have what it takes.’ But let’s think about this for a minute. Who told you that? We have to get honest with ourselves here and write those thoughts out, because if we leave them bottled up, they have this way of growing stronger, taking hold of our dreams.
And here’s a little perspective shift that has helped me: I think of the manna that God gave in the wilderness. Just enough bread for each day—nothing more, nothing less. What if you already have exactly what you need for today? Trust me, it’s enough.
Scripture: "And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus." —Philippians 4:19
Just like manna in the wilderness, this verse reassures us that God provides enough for each day, allowing us to trust that we already have what we need to take the next step.
"When you’re being nudged by God, He supernaturally provides for it." - Leslie Burris
My doula taught me this technique when we were preparing for our home birth with Abel— She had us grab a large bowl and fill it with ice and water. Adam and I submerged our hands in the ice water, I thought, ‘I don’t know how much longer I can last.' But secretly I just wanted to beat Adam- we are just a tad competitive- all in the name of fun! But regardless, all I had to do was make it through the next 60 seconds. She was making me prove to myself that I could make it through the waves of contractions. It was a mindset shift for us both- because trust me, when the time came- Adam and I both needed that reassurance. Those hip squeezes took every bit of muscle strength he had- and that’s a lot, he's not a little guy!
So my question for you is, what’s something you can commit to for just 60 seconds? What’s one action you can take that might propel you forward? Sometimes we need to break things down into pieces rather than trying to eat the whole pie. And there is nothing wrong with that.
2. Perfectionism: "Getting Trapped in the Details”
Let me know if this sounds familiar: you’re working so hard on the perfect plan that you never get around to taking the first step. Oh if I had a dollar for every time I had a “great idea” - I’d be a millionaire. The idea becomes so big in your head that you feel like you have to be someone else—someone more—just to make it happen. And you do nothing.
I realized at 31 that I was plagued by ADHD. I had no idea. It had masked itself for years in my personality being an overachiever which led to overstimulation and eventually to an endless cycle of burn out. I kept finding myself sick after the same 6 month cycle of hustling and trying to get a big project accomplished- and then I felt so terrible that I didn’t care to even show up.
The truth is, perfectionism turns to procrastination. We get stuck on this never-ending to-do list, convincing ourselves we’re making progress, when in reality, we’re just avoiding the risk of starting- taking action that actually moves the needle in the direction of our goal.
Here’s what’s worked for me: set a simple, manageable goal today. Just one small thing that you can act on, right now that you can actually finish. I ask myself “How can I complete this task in the next hour?” It’s super helpful to set a timer for 25 minutes, close out your tabs, put your phone on do-not-disturb and just focus on that one step. Before you know it, you’ll forget about the timer and you’ll have crafted something beautiful. Whether it’s writing a blog, decluttering the pantry, or writing out your grocery list before you head to the store, take the time and do the thing. I don’t set out to “rebrand my entire website” anymore. Instead I celebrate the progress of getting an outline for the podcast done for a single episode. Do you see the difference?
And let me tell you, this is about progress, not perfection. Every step forward is a win, even if it’s imperfect. I think we need to get in the habit of celebrating ourselves more, our own everyday wins.
Every action you take is one less thing to overthink. So set that goal and go get it. Perfectionism convinces us that we must be flawless or fully prepared before we even start. We get caught in crafting the perfect idea instead of taking actual steps. Settle for “good enough”, because friend YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH and keep moving forward; remind yourself that perfection is not the goal—momentum is.
"Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established." —Proverbs 16:3
When we strive for perfection, we can instead focus on committing our efforts to God, allowing Him to guide and bless our work rather than relying on our strength alone.
3. Fear of Failure: "Learning from Mistakes"
Oh, the fear of failure—it’s a big one, isn’t it? We hold onto this idea that failure is something to avoid at all costs, that it defines us.
I want you to tell me something- what is failure? Who gets to define failure?
I want you to try to change your perspective about failure. I want you to think of mistakes and your past failures as a way to learn what worked, what didn’t and instead of considering it for nothing, PIVOT instead. The only way we fail, is to quit and give up and believe that the thing we experienced served no purpose. I am a strong believer that nothing is wasted. God can use it ALL! He’s a big God, but you have to allow Him.
My business coach was just explaining this to me in my language last week- I grew up playing basketball and we would do drills that would require us to plant one foot once we picked up the ball from a dribble. We would then use our other leg to pivot- 90 degrees, 180, 360… it doesn’t matter, so long as you are planted and rooted you can pivot.
Scripture: "For the righteous falls seven times and rises again." —Proverbs 24:16
This verse reinforces that failure isn’t the end; instead, it’s an opportunity to grow and pivot. God strengthens us to rise after each stumble and use our experiences as lessons. Friend, maybe you were headed in one direction and it’s time to think about your failures and mistakes as lessons and use them to take you in a different direction.
Lessons our way forward. She also tells me this: It’s all about ‘100 golden BBs’ instead of the one silver bullet—every attempt gives us data, insight, wisdom, experience and helps us learn what works and what doesn’t. We don’t need one perfect answer or one million dollar idea; we just need to keep taking those steps using what we’ve learned along the way.
I want you to try this today: give yourself permission to take an imperfect action. Don’t wait for the flawless plan—because failure is just feedback. Each mistake is one step closer to where you’re meant to be.
If you take away nothing else from this episode, take this- you don’t learn in the thinking, you learn in the the doing. Just take action.
4. Fear of Success: "What Will It Require?"
This one might surprise you, but fear of success can be just as big as the fear of failure. Sometimes, we’re afraid of what success will demand from us. And what even is success, anyway? Success can feel just as intimidating as failure. Often, we fear what success may demand of us. How will success change us? Will we have to give up things we’re comfortable with? Will it change who we are?
The unknown ideas of success become crippling. We procrastinate. We don’t show up. We are trapped in un-lived dreams.
Scripture: "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." —Joshua 1:9
This encouragement from God to Joshua reminds us that even in new and successful seasons, God is with us, giving us strength and courage for each step.
Have you heard of Mel Robbins’ 5-Second Rule—it’s so simple, yet totally powerful. Picture this: the next time you feel that wave of fear or those voices telling you to hold back, just pause, take a deep breath, and start counting down—5-4-3-2-1. And right at one, you go! Don’t overthink it, don’t talk yourself out of it. Just take that first small step, even if it’s tiny. It’s like giving your brain a gentle nudge to break free from overthinking and move straight into action mode. Because sometimes, all you need to get the momentum rolling is a little countdown and that one brave step forward.
5. Comparison: "Stop Shoulding on Yourself"
You know, a lot of people struggle with comparing themselves and their progress to others. I mean, you’ve probably heard 15 Ted Talks on it, right? I won’t spend too much time on that today, but let’s talk about something that hits a little closer to home for me: comparing where I am now to where I used to be.
I catch myself in this cycle of “should-ing” all the time. “I should be further along.” “I should be this/that _____ (you fill in the blank).” Can you relate? It’s like I have this internal checklist of expectations that doesn’t quite match up with the reality of my current season.
But here’s the truth: that version of me from the past had different circumstances, different responsibilities, and a different path. So why am I putting so much pressure on myself to live up to those old standards? It’s time to release that weight!
"For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." —Ephesians 2:10
This verse helps us stop comparing ourselves by reminding us that we each have a unique purpose. God has designed each of us for specific good works, and we are called to fulfill them.
Instead of focusing on the past, I invite you to join me in embracing the here and now. Surround yourself with people who encourage and inspire you, not those who make you question your worth. If you’re looking for a community that understands this struggle, come hang out with us in the Joyful Life Community! We’re all about lifting each other up and finding joy in our journeys together. Refocus on your values. Revisit your own vision and purpose. We can help!
Procrastination
I truly believe that these thoughts and habits become bullies that lead to procrastination. And while procrastination can feel harmless, we don’t realize it impact has on our lives- it steals time from us. As a mom to 4 kids, time is everything to me. It’s the one equalizer in life. We are all marked by the amount of time we have, the time we spend, and what we do with it.
Let me tell you a story that really put this in perspective for me. When my late husband, Joel, and I were thinking about starting adoption classes, he asked, ‘What’s the rush?’ Without hesitation, or truly much thought, I replied, ‘Every day we wait is one less day… One less day we have with them, to spend with them, to love them, to know them.’ We didn’t know then just how limited that time would be. Just 8 months later Joel passed away, just shy of 5 months of becoming Freddie’s adopted father. That conversation has never ceased to make me realize just how precious time is and how much procrastination can keep us from living the life we dream and long for.
We only have so much time, friend, and each day matters. We don’t plant a seed and expect fruit tomorrow, right? But we still have to plant it, to do something small every day. To cultivate it- give it good soil, water, sunlight, nurture it. There’s work to be done.
So today, identify just one small step you can take. It doesn’t have to be big, but it does have to be real. What you’re growing, it’s worth the effort. Every step forward means something. The world is waiting on you. Your family is waiting on you. We need you to become the person you were meant to be. What seed are you planting today?
Weekly Challenge
Head over to the Joyful Life Community on Patreon. Join the conversation, share your name tag, and let us know which inner bully you’re facing this week, and what dreams you’re planting. We’re here to support each other in taking bold steps forward, together.
This week I'm also sharing a FREE devotional series to go with episode, so don't miss the opportunity to join the Joyful Life Community on Patreon for FREE!
Remember, starting small is still starting. Embrace these new beginnings with joy, faith, and courage, knowing you’re not alone on this journey. Thanks for being here with me today—until next time, keep pushing forward and choosing joy every day!
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