If you’ve been feeling a little lost and want to start living with more intention and joy but aren’t sure how, this episode is for you. We're going to explore the process of defining a family value system that can help you take back control over your life and look ahead with clarity and purpose.
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Hey friends, welcome back to There Will Be Joy Podcast! Today, we’re diving deep into a feeling that I think many of us can relate to—that eerie sense of wondering, "How in the world did we end up here?"
And if you haven't listened to Episode 2 yet, I highly encourage you to go back and dive into how to craft a vision for your family. It’s all about starting with a vision and then building upon that with strong values to guide you every step of the way. So, let’s get started!
Recognizing the Need for Change
Let me share a little backstory on how I ended up here. It’s not always evident from the outside, but so many changes have been happening in our family this past season. A little over a month ago, it became clear that our “assignment” was about to change. I could feel it in my bones. Do you know that feeling? Like you’ve got this unsettling in your gut that what’s been working in your life just isn’t anymore? It’s like the systems and the way we were living life—making choices and decisions—just didn’t serve us anymore.
Around that time, a fellow podcaster and blogger friend posted a blog about "evidence that you’re living in an expired assignment." I was feeling all the symptoms she described: restlessness, reflective thinking, a shift in priorities and values, a desire to live more simply… the list goes on. Over the last year or so, we had been so focused on our financial future, shaping it to secure what we thought we needed. But then I realized that we didn’t have a true set of family values in place. Our hearts felt misaligned between our purpose and the current direction for our family. Something had to give. I knew we needed a new foundation—a set of values that would serve as a lens to guide every decision, both now and in the future, from a place of peace rather than rush or worry.
Discovering Your Family Values
You might be wondering, "How in the world does one come up with a set of values like this?" I decided to share that process with you! Maybe you’ve been in a similar place, feeling restless or unsettled, or maybe you’ve never even thought about writing a set of family values. I started by compiling a list of 10 words we want our family to be known for. Then, I unpacked them, giving each one a definition to provide some context—essentially, a roadmap for how we want to live and make decisions.
And this is where the Bible offers such a beautiful roadmap for our journey. In Habakkuk 2:2, we read, "Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it." God isn’t just asking us to have dreams or visions; He’s asking us to be clear about them, to set them before us so we don’t lose sight of where we’re headed. This is why defining your family values is so important. It’s about cultivating a life with intention and purpose, making sure that every step you take is aligned with the vision God has placed in your heart.
Just as Habakkuk was encouraged to write down the vision clearly, you too are called to lay out your family's path plainly. When your values and vision are visible, they become a guiding light—a North Star that keeps you on course even when life gets chaotic.
Guiding Questions to Define Your Values
Before I share our values with you, here are some questions you might start with to get your wheels spinning and help you write a list of values that you can use as your own daily life filter.
BUT WAIT... I've created a free download for you in The Joyful Life Goal Planner to help you navigate this entire process, so make sure you join the free Joyful Life Community and download it before you get started!
What are the guiding principles that keep your family grounded?Think about what really matters to you as a family. What are those core beliefs that you want to shine through in everything you do?
When people think of your family, what do you hope comes to mind?Imagine someone describing your family—what do you want them to say? What qualities or values do you want to be known for?
What are the things that truly bring you all together?Whether it’s a weekly game night, Sunday dinners, or a shared love for adventure—what are those special moments or traditions that make your family feel connected?
How do you handle the tough stuff together?When life gets challenging, what values help your family navigate through it? Think about the ways you support each other, solve problems, and move forward as a team.
How does faith play a role in your family’s journey?Reflect on how your spiritual beliefs shape your family’s values and how you bring those beliefs into everyday life.
What does success mean to your family?Forget the outside noise for a minute—what does true success look like for your family? Is it about love, happiness, strong relationships, or something else?
What life lessons do you want to pass on to your kiddos?Think about the big and little things you want your children to learn from you. What values do you hope they carry with them throughout their lives?
How do you make sure family time is a top priority?In the hustle and bustle of life, how do you carve out time just for each other? What are the ways you make sure that family comes first?
What does love look like in your home?Love is more than just a word—how do you show it every day? Through your words, your actions, and those sweet little traditions that say, "I care."
How does your family give back or make a difference?Think about how you want to impact your community. How does your family show kindness, serve others, or be a light in the world around you?
The Alonso Family Values
Well, friend, you’ve made it this far, and I’m excited to share the Alonso Family Values with you! Without further ado, here they are, in all their glory:
Trust: We must always trust one another, choose to protect each other, and always honor our family.
Peace: We make decisions from a place of peace, not under stress or pressure from circumstances or people outside our family (the people in our home).
Closeness: We are close. We support one another and would rather be together than surrounded by others. We would choose time with each other over anything else.
Responsibility: We take responsibility for our actions (and inactions). We make mistakes, but we also don’t run from them or try to cover them up.
Kindness: We are kind to one another. We are not rude or self-seeking. We speak with gentleness and affirm one another.
Community: We value intentional community that supports our values and family growth.
Time: We invest more quality time in each other than anything else. We don’t waste time but are intentional about how and where we spend it, making memories and sharing with one another.
Exploration: We explore together. We try new things, we create, we adventure, and we learn and fail together.
Selflessness: We are selfless. We put each other first, before our own needs, assuring we are always watching out for each other.
Love: Above all else, we love as Jesus loved us. We make choices and treat each other with love for one another.
Putting Values Into Action
With these values, I now know that as we filter what’s important to us in our decision-making process, we will always have a strong sense of purpose. When it comes to making decisions for the long term, our family vision helps us create a life we love instead of feeling like we’ve ended up in an unpredictable place. We can make choices from a place of peace, knowing there will be joy in every season. It’s not about perfection but about aligning our lives with what matters most to us as a family. It’s about choosing to cultivate joy and purpose in every step we take.
If you’re feeling a little lost or unsure of your family’s direction, I encourage you to take some time to reflect on these questions and start defining your own family values. Remember, this isn’t a one-time task but an ongoing journey of cultivating joy and purpose in your home.
Creating a family vision and value system is a powerful way to build a joyful and purposeful life together. Take time this week to dream big and start crafting your vision and values. I’d love to hear what you come up with—share your vision statement with us in the Joyful Life Community!
Thank you for joining me today, friends. Remember, joy is a choice and a promise, and it starts with living intentionally. Until next time, keep finding joy in every season, and I’ll see you soon!
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With joy,